The war begins and nobody sees it. The storm lowers and nobody knows it. A truck driver in Denver, killed by a rubber-gripped claw-headed hammer in his home. A community of nine Anchorites dead from carbon monoxide poisoning. A lobster tank smashed in an Atlanta seafood restaurant. Single attacks may light the spark.

–The Caretaker, "Donar the Great"

The Caretaker is the caretaker of the Black Briar bunker which is used by the New Gods as a base. The Caretaker does not appear in the novel.

Background[edit | edit source]

The Caretaker is the uniformed keeper of secrets who mans the Briar Hill Bunker for Mr. World.

Significance in series[edit | edit source]

"House on the Rock (episode)"[edit | edit source]

A golfer tees up at the Black Briar golf course as a limo careens onto the teeing ground and runs him over. The GPS announces the destination is on the right as Technical Boy swerves across the fairway, telling the GPS he knows where he is going. He speeds into a parking garage, slamming on the breaks as he reaches spot 353 located against a wall. Mr. World crawls out of the back of the limo and passes Technical Boy a paperclip to "show." Technical Boy holds up the paperclip to a camera and the wall swings open. The Caretaker challenges Mr. World, who replies with "büroklammer" (German for "paperclip"). He welcomes Mr. World to Black Briar. Technical Boy wants to take out all of the Old Gods. Mr. World cautions him they are not ready but when they are, they will eradicate the Old Gods. He tasks Technical Boy to find his "best salesman," Media.

In the underground bunker, Mr. World tells the Caretaker he needs the "eyes of Argus" to see his enemies. The Caretaker protests, saying only the President is allowed. Mr. World explains to the Caretaker that he is behind everything from Operation Paperclip to the Crack Wars and the Caretaker ultimately works for him.

In the bunker, the Caretaker reads off "130-7925" as Mr. World enters it onto a number pad for the Black Briar "Facitilies Control and Monitor." A keyboard slides out and Mr. World sends a secure message to Mr. Town to request a "strike package" and to "execute target."

"The Beguiling Man"[edit | edit source]

In the Black Briar bunker, Mr. World pours liquor from a decanter and brings it over to Bilquis while the Caretaker continues monitoring the "eyes of Argus". Mr. World commiserates with Bilquis that none of the Old Gods joined her. She blames his attack on the diner for pushing the Old Gods into joining Wednesday's side. Bilquis refuses to join his war as she is a love goddess and "love and war may sit on opposite sides of the coin but only so they may never meet." Mr. World warns her that she must choose a side or be trampled by both.

"Muninn"[edit | edit source]

An "Argus" drone flies overhead tracking Shadow and Sam before it is knocked out of the sky by a raven. The Caretaker replays the drone footage for Technical Boy and Mr. World in the Black Briar bunker. The Caretaker blames the outdated network and that they were unable to get an exact GPS location from the drone. Technical Boy complains about Argus not updating the bunker like he asked. Mr. World is angered that Technical Boy failed to keep Argus in order and demands he go in person to sort out the upgrade. Behind them, the screens are overtaken by a completed download as pop music plays and a form steps forward out of the monitor. New Media introduces herself, fresh from her upgrade. Technical Boy asks how is it an upgrade.

"The Greatest Story Ever Told"[edit | edit source]

Technical Boy vapes in the Black Briar bunker as he and New Media discuss Media's rebirth. She can still feel Media inside her and wonders if a future version of Media will feel both of them inside. Technical Boy explain how people are aware of their own mortality whereas animals are not. Media is a god, neither animal nor human, and she didn't die but changed into New Media. Mr. World enters to reprimand them for what happened with Argus. The Caretaker acts as Mr. World's chorus as he explains to them how losing Argus has left him blind. Mr. World shoves his thumbs in Technical Boy's eyes as he demands for him to restore his sight. Technical Boy tells him there is someone in Silicon Valley who owes him and he will get Mr. World an upgrade.

"Donar the Great"[edit | edit source]


"Moon Shadow"[edit | edit source]


Notes and trivia[edit | edit source]

References[edit | edit source]

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